So I had the chance to watch two "new" shows and I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, neither one is very good.....

First we have "Dane Cook's Tourgasm," which is a show much in the spirit of "Blue Collared Comedy Tour," "Original Kings of Comedy," the behind-the-scenes movie/TV show "The Comedians of Comedy," and "The Self-Induglent adjectives of Humor". Okay, the last one never existed.

Basically it's funnyman Dane Cook showing fans what it's like to travel with 4 guys on a bus for a month-long, 20 city tour. And here's the cast....

Dane Cook: Platinum-selling comedian, leader, only distinguishable face.

Robert Kelly: Homophobe, loves porn, appears on Opie & Anthony show (that pretty much explains it all.)

Jay Davis: The newcomer. Trying to be celibate, not that funny and is constantly offended by Kelly.

Greg Gullen: More of a cameo than an actual person on the bus, claims to be "life of the party," but is rarely ever seen.

So what happens when four guys go on tour? Judging by this first episode, not much. Originally "Tourgasm" was meant to be a big DVD for fans of Cook and his fellow comedians, but once HBO noticed that he could pretty much sell anything with his name on it, they split up the DVD and made into a 10-part series. In this case, it doesn't work. None of the guys are particularly interesting enough to make you want to watch more than one episode and if this is any indication, it's like a dull comedy "Real World." C-

In the oddest resurrection, the MTV2 network has revived the late 90's/early 00's MTV hit "Celebrity Deathmatch." Why? Not too sure about that. The series quietly petered out in 2002 as it made way for "Viva La Bam," "Wildboyz," and a few other shows hosted by former Jackass stars that weren't Johnny Knoxville. So as MTV2 promotes their "SicEmation," what better way than to wax nostalgia and remind us why we stopped watching in the first place.

To give you a little history, "Celebrity Deathmatch" was borne out of what was supposed to be a one-time thing when MTV had the "Celebrity Deathbowl" during a Super Bowl Half-time show. The ratings and responses were so huge they decided to sign the show on to their regular programming in 1998. But after a few years it just was a case of a joke being taken too far. Much like "Jackass" and "The Tom Green Show", the gimmick had worn thin and viewers lost interest. Thus, it got the kabosh.

So here we are today, a new animation studio has taken over the show, therefore the characters look more like something out of a Nintendo game and the voice talent has changed, except for Johnny Gomez I believe. Either way, the show's concept is the same thing as it was before and just about as humor-less. The show was embraced by people of my generation who are now in college and looking back, it's one of the cases where something is alot better in your memory than when you watch it again. It was a witty idea at the time, but now it's turned into the guy at the party who tells the same joke and won't leave. D

So my comrade Yost and I were bored one night. Well more like he was bored, for I was preparing for a night's rest when he called around 1 a.m. when he called my mobile device asking if I would join him in going to Pittsburgh to visit an extremely nice Sheetz that I saw in passing when I was with my other friend Gabbard. So it was decided we would go. These are the evidence.....

I originally took this picture to document the time of left and time we returned to our homesteads. As you will see, I was so tired by the end I forgot.

Yost's secret pleasure, windshield washer fluid.

A penguin suffocating itself.

I don't know why this picture was taken, but to have that creepy smiling face staring at you as you watch your entire paycheck go into your car's gas tank is both creepy and angering.

This is the sleaziest look Yost has ever done.

And here we are. The nicest Sheetz in the world.

That also includes the most awkward looking gas pumps, but you can order all your food from them as you're filling your tank. If that doesn't say American, I don't know what does.

This picture is to contrast with the usual Sheetz you will find in Ohio which looks more like something built from the fine folks at Playskool.

Yes, more like this.

The screen is different looking that the other as well with the categories to the side as opposed going back 7 pages just to change your cheeseburger's bun.

A huge M&M's display. Sweet sassy.

More pop, juice and bottled tap water than you could shake a baby at.

Flat panel screens. Why? Because they can.

And of course, Gabbard.

Also notice the sitdown area. Although the temperature could be likened to that of Anchorage, Alaska. It was nicer than the usual Perkins, plus no scene kids.

I'm trying to think of a comment for this face Yost is giving, but I can't.

Krispy Kremes. Gabbard loves 'em.

Sadly, one day this picture will be looked back upon as "Holy shingles, gas was only $2.79!?" Naturally the 'shingles' part will be replaced with any numerous choice word.

And that's that, a fine looking Sheetz that looks like it was meant more for New York than PA or Ohio. A journey well worth taking.